First Things First
In order to start our relationship off on a positive note, I need to clear a few things up;
First, I am NOT that mass-murderer who shot up an office building full of people decades ago. That psycho casually entered an office building in California’s Bay Area and shot up office after office, occupied or not. My sister-in-law worked in that building at the time. Fortunately, she had taken that day off. When the shooter came to the office with her name on the door and saw the last name Farley he passed it by.
I had called in sick that day too. When my attorney read the newspaper account and saw the photo of the killer showing the back of his head, he instructed his assistant to be on alert for a call from me. I am glad to say he did not get that call asking for legal representation.
The tragic incident was made into a movie which didn’t do me any good. Years later, the boss at my new job called me in the office. She laid a newspaper on the table in front of me from that day of the shooting and asked; “You mind telling me about this?”
I was stunned. My smart-ass voice wanted to scream; “Are you fricking kidding me? Don’t you think that if that was me I would have changed my name? Holy rat crap!” Instead, I collected my composure, which was halfway out the door, and explained the story like I am doing now. She asked if I would agree to a thorough background check, to which I agreed. That was the last I ever heard of the matter.
Now, as a published author, of what I hope will be many successful humorous books, I have made it a practice to be proactive about this unpleasant incident.
Second, I am not related to the comedian, Chris Farley. I enjoyed his crazy movies and mourned the tragic loss of a talented performer destroyed by his own inner demons. Rest assured, as a senior citizen, family man I will not disappoint you with such terrible news, but I will try to add some laughter to life like he did.