Sample Chapter From my Construction Humor eBook

On The Job Safety

Nowhere is the burden of unnecessary insurance protection felt more than in the construction industry. Contractors are required by law to carry extensive insurance coverage on their workers in case of accidents on the job. To prevent any accident from happening, there are equally extensive safety regulations which mandate everything from dress requirements to tool use. Considering the futility of these rules and requirements, it’s no wonder many contractors complain so about indirect job costs and overhead.

Anyone foolish enough to believe in a construction job without accidents is foolish enough to believe in an avalanche that doesn’t make any noise or break any tree limbs. These same insurance companies who force such requirements would think you crazy if you asked them to consider an office building without coffee machines.

Let’s look at the typical construction job. Now, someone has gone to a lot of trouble to put those loose board and boulders everywhere. And, do you think those rusty nails sticking out from every board got there by themselves? No sir! Some hard-working men went to a lot of time and trouble to make their job site a place to be proud of. After all, a job site without a few hazards would contribute little to the macho atmosphere that construction workers thrive on.

Who are those insurance companies trying to kid, anyway? Every one of those big insurance executives rushes home through hazardous traffic to sit in front of a television set and watch documentaries about men who risk their lives climbing mountains or feeding sharks or even eating sushi. Then, after they have had their vicarious thrills, they write new restrictions that attempt to take all of the thrills out of being a construction worker.

When the bottom line economics of insuring a construction worker is viewed impartially, it becomes quite apparent that contractors are getting ripped off. Consider for a moment that the human body contains roughly one dollar’s worth of raw materials. Add to that figure the cost of an ounce of alcohol, around a dollar and a half, and you have a net worth for the average construction worker of around twenty dollars, (excluding Monday mornings, when the value of alcohol is roughly twice the normal amount). All in all, that is not much of a treasure worthy of safeguarding. As for safety considerations, the only real crucial consideration should be keeping the volatile mass away from any open flames.

A far better solution would be to require each construction worker to carry a roll of breath mints and a personal fire extinguisher at all times.

From Hard Hat Dazed available in the Amazon Kindle Store

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