Has Social Media Killed Being Social?

Am I the only one developing a dislike for social media?

Every damn time I stumble onto FaceBook I get so pissed off that I want to slap baby chicks. I swear to God, I feel like a junky returning to a sadistic pusher who changes the product every minute. “Like what you saw yesterday? Well, sucks to be you. Today is a new flavor of social sadism.”

And yet, return we must. It’s how those zit-faced-nerds programmed the site. How do you get more site visitors? You make your site addictive. How do you make it addictive? You give visitors little virtual fixes that activate those sneaky endorphins in their bored brains.

What are endorphins, you ask? This is what Wikipedia says;

The principal function of endorphins is to inhibit the transmission of pain signals; they may also produce a feeling of euphoria very similar to that produced by other opioids.[5]

Opioids? Are you fricking kidding me? I mean, hell, I like euphoria as much as anyone. But the FaceBook flavor of euphoria doesn’t make you grin, it doesn’t give you the munchies, hell no, instead you get frustration with your fix.

So here is my bitch. Don’t lie, you’ve been waiting for this, right? So, here it is. As a writer, I want to connect with people. I want people to connect with me. But, after pouring my heart and soul into a story or post and only getting one or two likes in return I feel like Michael Angelo showing his Sistine Chapel painting to the Pope and getting a “that’s nice” in return. (feeling a little guilty yet?)

OK, being someone who prides himself on learning from mistakes (lots of practice) I wander over to my most recent discovery of torture, Twitter. Oh, Momma! This site takes aggravation to a whole new level. Think of it as “neutered self-expression.” Here your public exposure, AKA exposing yourself in public, is limited to just a hand-full of characters. Talk about constipated communication. It’s a virtual vortex of word-turds and selfies swirling around the internet drain.

Well, gotta go. I have to get this post published so I can see it on Facebook, Twitter, and SocialMediaJunkiesAnonymous.dum. I don’t want to be called antisocial, you know. 😉


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